President Obama has finally released a copy of his speech to be given to a national audience on Tuesday of next week.
Many believe that he released it on a Friday to avoid the scrutiny of the rabid media.
This is understandable based upon the content of the speech.
Read below to see what I mean.
Transcript of President Obama's Speech on September 8, 2009
Hello students and fellow comrades,
The dark days of democracy and capitalism are finally about to come to an end.
Being elected to the highest office in America is an honor and a huge responsibility. But more importantly, it gives me a hell of a lot of power. And I’m going to grab this power and do some ass whuppin’ to this fine nation of ours.
First of all, this Constitution thingy. I mean, c’mon folks. It’s just an old, brown piece of paper. And those honkies who wrote it, they’re all dead.
So I say tear up that outdated and outmoded piece of drivel. I have some better ideas. Can you say Das Kapital? Better learn that one. Don’t worry, because the study of Russian will become mandatory in our schools.
And speaking of languages, I declare that Spanish is the co-official language of the United States. Just get used to it is what I say. Or I should say, "Soy el presidente...es muuuuuuuuuuuy bueno!"
Now as far as health care, the government is going to take over every aspect of it, like it or not. You’re not even going to be able to get a Vaseline-lubed finger up your ass without consent of your Senator. Have you ever seen "Logan’s Run?" I suggest renting it. Because once you turn 65 that’s what’s happening under my plan. What! You say?...kill all seniors!? Of course not...those people already 65 and over will be "grandfathered" in...(pun intended.)
And you people who think that I was born in Kenya and am not an American citizen...you’re absolutely right...suckers! And I am a Muslim. Next time you check-in to Motel 8 it’s gonna be a Koran and not a Bible next to your bed. Christianity is officially outlawed.
So, in summary, Heil Hitler comrades. As of now, we are a fascist, socialist, communist country. With government run healthcare. Shit, I think the government will just take over everything. So you teabaggers, birthers, deathers, and wingnutters better just get used to it.
Adios!